"Not that I don't love you"

I remember the moment like it was yesterday—the day I told my parents that I had chosen to follow Jesus. My heart was pounding. I wanted them to understand, but I also feared their disappointment. “It’s not that I don’t love you,” I said, looking into their eyes, “but I love Jesus more.”

Growing up, I always tried to make my parents proud. Their approval was everything to me. But then I met Jesus, and everything changed. His love overwhelmed me, and I knew I had to follow Him no matter what.

When I first told my parents, their faces fell. I could see confusion and hurt behind their eyes. “Why would you choose this? What about us?” they asked. I wanted to explain it perfectly, but even the right words seemed inadequate. The truth was, following Jesus wasn’t easy. It meant giving up so much—my own plans, my comfort, even sometimes their approval.

I had to leave behind old ways of thinking. I realized that following Jesus meant a new identity. I was no longer just their daughter; I was a child of God, called to a higher purpose. That higher calling didn’t mean turning my back on my family. It meant loving them differently—through Jesus.

“But how can you say you love Jesus more?” my mother asked one evening, tears brimming. “Does that mean you don’t love us anymore?”

“No,” I whispered, my voice soft but steady. “It’s because I love you that I have to be honest. Jesus calls me to put Him first, and that changes everything. He teaches me to love others, even you, better than before. It’s not about choosing Jesus instead of you; it’s about choosing Him because He loves us all.”

There were moments when the tension felt unbearable. Family gatherings became awkward, and sometimes I felt isolated. Friends whispered, and sometimes my parents’ words felt like questions I couldn’t answer yet.

At school, I stood out. I wasn’t just a girl with dreams anymore—I was a girl with a mission. I began to read the Bible, pray, and follow Jesus’ teachings. Each day was a new challenge. Sometimes, following Jesus felt like carrying a heavy weight, like taking up a cross. But it was a weight I was willing to bear because I believed in what Jesus promised—a life transformed by love, hope, and eternal joy.

One afternoon, when my mother was sorting through old family photos, I sat beside her quietly. She glanced at me and softly said, “I’m scared we might lose you.”

“I understand,” I replied gently. “But I’m not lost. I’m found in Jesus. And He’s teaching me how to love you in a new way—patiently, faithfully, and honestly. Following Him might be hard, but it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.”

Slowly, I could see a change in their eyes—not complete understanding, but a flicker of hope. Love doesn’t always mean agreement; sometimes it means letting go and trusting.

Jesus had called me to follow Him, and that call was radical. It meant choosing a path of self-denial, sacrifice, and putting Him above all—even family. But it also meant gaining a joy and peace I had never known.

Looking back now, I know it was never about rejecting my parents or my past. It was about embracing a new future rooted in the love of Christ. My love for Jesus didn't diminish my love for them; it deepened it.

I still love my parents dearly. And they love me. Although the road wasn’t easy, the journey of following Jesus together has begun, one step at a time. And I am grateful that my choice—for Jesus above all—has opened the door for a love that transcends all understanding.


"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:24